Trackers from hell!
You'll need that money later.
Many a person has ignored the humble MABIS, and turned their sights to AVA, YONO, TEMPDROP, AND WINK.
Also known as the Four Trackers of the Apocalypse. They cost from 100-200 dollars. They promise to give you MORE FERTILE DAYS, but let's face it, scattering the boning, hither and tither, is free. And smart.
MABIS, HER MAJESTY MOST AFFORDABLE, costs 5, maybe 10 bucks in Canada
These products prey on your fears, hopes, dreams, and promise something that not even Mabis can promise. That this will all be okay, and fun, and not stressful. Then you'll get a baby.
Why skip trackers?
- They all cost way too much...
- ... For the cost to make them.
- ... For the window in which they'd likely be useful
- ... For the time the claim to save.
- ... For products that are still in development.
- Wink has backlighting, so, clearly evil.
- Wink only syncs with kindara, not fertility friend - the most loyal MABIS ally.
- You put Yono in your ear and sleep with it? Where it can fry your brain!?
- Why is the Tempdrop button so tiny and hard to push!?
- Honestly I feel like that is enough reasons.
Consider your decision! MABIS will be here when you seek penance!
But I really want to try one!
Honestly, it's your money, but the math just doesn't make sense. When you hit a year, your doctor is gonna say "Oh, you should be taking 600 mcg CoQ10 everyday! Also some for your sperm-maker!" and then you're going to go to Costco, and look at those two giant bottles, ensconced in plastic, mummified together like you and your partner were before all of this fertility nonsense, and then you're going to look at the price tag and be like "What no, that's so much! Not compared to how much IVF is going to set me back, BUT STILL!" and then you're going to go to Walgreens, just in case, and yup it's still pretty pricey there and then you're think "man I thought that MABIS cult was crazy but now I can see they were right about trackers".
Yup. That's how it's gonna go down.
PRAISE BE UNTO MABIS
Learn more about our beloved MABIS:
Disclaimer: This is a silly website made for silly people who are tracking their basal body temperature to try to conceive. We highly recommend fertility friend's courses as a free, online resource to learn more about this nifty stuff. We don't actually care what thermometer you use.